MY

NAME

IS:

JEZ

BROWN.

Who are YOU? Why are you HERE? It's too late now, but you should know I pay for traffic, so don't come back and definitely don't tell your friend. That's right, friend, singular, if you're here you probably don't have enough to form a posse or small street gang. You're also not likely to make any more because you're interested in what I'm doing and that's not a good sign. Get a job. Take up a sport. Do astrophysics. Also remember when I said "friend", I meant "Mum", but we both knew that.

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Contacting me is fraught

Wow, that's weird. I guess you emailed me. Um, OK. Maybe I'll email you back.

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SOCIAL

HELL:

Social media is the future according to "them".

 

For an introverted extrovert, it's a living nightmare.

"They" want me to have 1000 followers on all the social nightmares, so this is where you'll find them clustered together for warmth, fighting for oxygen, trying to survive the cold harsh reality that no-one cares about them.

For my part, I will delve deep into the darkest parts of my most masochistic tendencies to actually post "updates" (ruin) for "likes" (neediness) and "follows" (sacred golden calf).

 

Given that organic reach is no longer a thing, I'm looking forward to a solid year of screaming into the void while the social media succubus eats what's left of my soul.

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